Robert Galindo wrote: ........

hey vato, most beloved alvah,
i sang "louie louie" at my cousin's wedding last saturday night in san antonio. it was "tough". i killed 'em. you would have been proud of me. i kicked ass. those putos at the wedding are all gonna walk like they got a stick up their ass!!! (for a week, at least)

The band was a bunch of very young very white, white guys, probably around 21 years old. it was a power trio, they had some pinche' name like " THE GROUP THREE" and they played oldies all night long. they were very white, and they were a trio. They shoulda called themselves "THREE WHITE YOUNG GUYS". but that's another rant. Anyway, they were very competent. anyway, my cousin sabrina (the one that sends me really raunchy stuff from the internet) made all the arrangements with the band, anyway, the next thing i know she is making an announcement introducing me. ok, so i take the stage, the hardest working man in show business. I am wearing the gold suit (see attached photo - remember it? You snapped the photo in your kitchen one night, you were living LARGE across the street from st. ed's). So i go over to the guitar player so i can strap on the guitar. He informs me that i am going to JUST sing, that HE will play the guitar. I said to him:

"Hey Man, I've been doing this for years.I've played a million of these things, trust me I won't break a string, man."

Then i wipe my nose with my sleeve and mutter something about being "cool" and it's ok cause "i'm just chippin"...........OK, so then i say,

"Hey Man! do you know how to play this song properly? tell me the chords you are gonna play, man".

he said: "A, D, & E, dude." I said: "no way jose! This song is A, D, Em!!!!! ........ man!"

He said: DUDE! NO WAY!" I said:

"HEY MAN! you gotta trust me on this one. if you play A, D, E we're just gonna be playing "Hang On Sloopy, MAN!"

He said: "OK, so let's play Hang on Sloopy, dude!" I said:

"HEY MAN! just trust me on this, you'll see"

So he shut the fuck up and we played the song, A, D & Em. It was cool. I have never been a front man before. You should have seen me posing and stomping and shit! Phil Arroyo would have been proud, i did a dedication (but i forgot to make it a ladies' choice). Too bad Jay Hoyer was not there, i would have rubbed it his nose. The fucker could never sing a lick. He sings better NOW thru his tracheotomy!!! I faked the lyrics better that he EVER could have done, and i managed to throw in a "BABY JESUS" too................................

I FARKT DAT GEERLLL AWL KINSA WAYZ
I STIK MAH FANGHER IN HER HARE
I TELLYA AHL NEVAH LAYHER A GARE
A LOUIE LOUIE WHOA BABY WE GOTTA GO!
YEAH LES GETTON OUTTA HEAH
YEAH! LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!!

The motherfuckers missed their cue and kept playing. it's not cool to yell LET'S GO!!! Three fucking times.

but i was FABULOUS!!!!

come to jesus! everybody wash your hands! everybody say OUCH! toda la familia davila! that's how LARGE my lunch is!

yours in christ,

bobby blue balls

ROB MEURER Responds: ........

BOBBY BLUE BALL RULE DE KNOW UNIVER

GOO GA

BOBBY BLUE BALL SHOW DEM CHILLUN DE MEANIN O PENIS OWNASHIP

UUUUHN

HANG YA FUCKN SLOOPY ON DIS, PUSSY BOY

HEP ME ONE TIME

BOBBY BLUE BALL DUN BEAT SUM HUMILIDY INTO DEM CHILLUN

HOIT ME

AFTA BBB, WHITE CHILLUN HAB DEM LUMP O CACA IN THEY TROUSA

YESSUH YESSUH

DE WOILD SUCKIN BOBBY BIG HAIRY BLUE NUTZ, NOW EN FOR ALL TERNIDY

IN SAECULA SAECULORUM
A FUCKIN MEN